NO PAIN NO GAIN!!!!!
May 31, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsaP8LZSRkM

[Music]
happy Friday yes we have come to another
end of a great week let's see this week
I managed to trip coming into my house
and falling smack on my face I you know
did in my whack seen that yes I have
missing hair that I will gladly own up
to and I just had a great week all in
all I have just had a wonderful week um
you know I'm a little bit still sore
from the fall I'm not gonna lie my knee
is really bothering me but I just don't
let it stop me a hundred percent it is
stopping me somewhat I am gonna be
honest it it really has stopped me
somewhat but I just keep breathing
through it breathing through it and
knowing that it's gonna get better I
think so yeah that is how my week went
pretty much in a nutshell but today
however has been a really good day all
in all I you guys this is the jiff of my
bed right now look look at this look
that is all cookies that Olli has made
we just dipped know if you guys can even
see that those are dipped in let's see
old man's but they're dipped in
chocolate
yes now they are now he told my husband
I said you're really gonna make this
challenging for me when when Ramadan
ends because Amy gets back on the
bandwagon in all of this as I no no I
have been doing a lot of research and
just kind of seen where what direction I
want to turn
with my eating do I you know do I want
to continue to stay on zero carbs but
you know zero carbs zero whatever am I
am i wanting that kind of a drastic
change am i wanting to do like a keto
out stand and see how that works on me
you know just kind of playing with it
and seeing which program that I think is
gonna help get me going again
now when I say program or diet or any of
that I very much
shy against those things because as you
all know I do not believe in the word
diet diet is a temporary fix for a
problem that is big and somebody like me
it's gonna be a lifelong adjustment it's
not gonna be a temporary fix or you know
a temporary thing it's just not gonna
work like that's just clearly not gonna
be in my my lifestyle I can't I have to
you know stick really hard and I've seen
myself I think this last probably good
month yeah I'll see the last month has
been probably the hardest for me in the
sense that I have a really hard time
accepting that I I did fall off the
bandwagon and I have put back on weight
and my body is paying the consequences
for it and I'm personally paying the
consequences for my actions that I chose
and make sure you lock that honey and
can you shut that top fan off Ben and I
feel so guilty
within my own self because when I lost
the 78 pounds I was feeling so good I
really was feeling like I was getting a
hold on my life
get choked up here I felt like I really
got a hold on my life I felt like I was
becoming a new person and finding my
likes and my hobbies and all the things
that you know mean so much to me that I
couldn't do before but at the same time
because I have fallen off the bandwagon
a little bit I have put on some weight I
don't know how much because I haven't
weighed myself and as most of you guys
have i well not most there have been a
few people that have asked what the
scale is saying and my quickest response
is not Y on my quickest responses I
divorce the scale we are on a separation
right now so me and the scale are
separated we are working on our
relationship because I was allowing the
scale to define the worthiness of me and
telling myself from what the scale says
is how I should react to myself and
that's not the way it should go
numbers are just numbers numbers can
define so much but at the same time the
ability to do things is actually what
speaks louder so the scale might say
well you only lost five pounds or maybe
you only lost a pound but this week you
notice you walk through the whole store
and you didn't have to stop and you
never felt your back ache to me walking
through the store and having your back
not hurt is a better that to me weighs
higher than what a scale is telling me
it's a it's an on scale victory but I
would rather look for mourn on scale
victories than only looking to the scale
to tell me that I have victory
my week or that I've accomplished my
goal for the the week of or the month of
or the year of or whatever that might be
and so I feel like kind of I was really
getting stuck on that scale number
rather than looking
myself and saying hey you know what Amy
you still achieved going to Walmart and
not going in a push cart you
accomplished going to Michael's and you
know going through the store for an hour
walking around and enjoying yourself
so I had to let the scale go
I had to release the scale and say you
know what we are separated right now
because you are playing too much into my
ability to allow myself to feel like
I've achieved even if the numbers
haven't changed and that's kind of where
I'm at right now and that's where I'm
gonna stick to for right now now I will
do a weigh-in at the end of Ramadan
which we don't know yet if Ramadan will
end Tuesday or Wednesday Monday or
Tuesday Tuesday Wednesday something like
that the third or fourth we're not sure
which one it will be but whatever the
following day is no sorry okay so if
Ramadan ends on the third you count
three days so fourth fifth six so on the
seventh we will get away in or the
eighth so either the seventh or the
eighth I will be doing an official
weigh-in I am going to be carrying
around how ironic it being a pineapple I
am going to be carrying around my little
pineapple this pineapple is gonna become
my best friend and why this book is
gonna become my best friend is because
this will be my log in for everything
that I eat I'm not going to put it on my
phone I'm not going to calculate it on
my phone I'm not going to do fitness pal
I'm gonna do it the old-fashioned way
writing everything down calculating my
calories on paper so that I can go back
and just see this stuff and then
each day that I so you know I'd write
right here the date and then all my days
eating's of whatever it might be then on
the the back of that same page at
nighttime before I go to bed I'm going
to journalize journal that day what were
my struggles what were my achievements
what myrrh what were things that made me
feel good but here's the catch I will
not be doing weekly weigh-ins I will no
longer do weekly weigh-ins so we're
going to weigh either on the seventh or
eighth don't mark me because I don't
know exactly the date I don't how am i
yeah I don't know how my calendar with
me but yeah I don't but it's either it's
three days after the fourth or the third
or the fourth because that will be when
our holiday completely ends and then I'm
starting really strong but even during
Ramadan it hasn't I haven't just like
blown out of the water and just eating
anything and everything I want but I
will say I have been very relaxed with
my carb eating treat eating things like
that and that's all gotta stop oh stop
and I'm gonna do the beginnings of which
I probably will on that same thing where
my my eating where I write for my
journal my food I will also on the side
somewhere I'll find what exercise I've
chosen to do that day whether it be I
walk or I do wall push-ups or whatever
it is that I choose to do I will write
it in my book now the thing is I will be
updating you guys on my eating and my
accomplishments that I make during my
you know exercising and my movements and
what I've achieved and where I'm at
because I've gotten back to where I can
not walk through a store without hurting
really bad so I'm kind of
treat back to using my cart and I hate
even saying that but you know what I'm
gonna own up to it because you all
deserve to know the truth this is where
I met there's no excuse yes my knee is
killing me from the fall but if I hadn't
put on enough weight then my me maybe
and not hurt as bad but we don't know
and I'm not gonna beat myself up for it
you know what it is what it is
but I'm getting back on track there's
always the next day and that's what's
happening so between now and that day
that I'm start so either a 7th or 8th
I'm gonna be doing a lot of research on
different food ideas if you guys have
any ideas drop them in the comments
below
it could be anything it doesn't matter
as long as it doesn't contain pork we're
good I do not eat pork but I eat pretty
much everything else you know I eat
pretty much everything else so if you
guys have some great meal ideas some
prep mental ideas that would be amazing
I would love to know what those are
because I kind of get stuck you know and
so yeah but that's that's just something
I'm looking really forward to and so my
pineapples gonna become my true best
friend and it's going to go everywhere
with me it's gonna be glued to my hand
because you know what that is that my
best thing is looking at my pineapple
and knowing I'm taking care of my my
inner me as well as I'm taking care of
my outer shell and like the scene is
where your crown where the crown and I'm
gonna put my crown on because I'm a
queen and I can own up to everything
that I have done recently to where I
want to change so my pineapple and I are
gonna be best friends so yeah that is
that but anyway so I will not be doing
weekly weigh-ins will not I will not be
doing them at home I will not be
updating nothing
I will do my weigh-ins when I feel like
I need to do a weigh-in does that make
sense
because see here's the thing
again numbers don't define you
numbers have defined me they have told
me I'm doing good or I'm doing bad and I
don't want that I don't want that to be
something that is always on the back of
my mind if I only lost three pounds that
week well you could have done better
what did you do why did you you know you
shouldn't have eaten this you shouldn't
have done this you could have walked
more you could have did no I did the
best I could but as long as I'm on track
and I'm doing what I'm supposed to do to
better my health then all my
achievements of being able to walk
through the store like I said no back
pain you know all the things showering
you know by myself and excuse me getting
up and doing house tours more all those
are achievements that outweigh a number
on a scale and when I start seeing that
those things are coming easy for me
again then I know that I'm getting I'm
losing but I don't need to know numbers
I don't need to define numbers are not
going to define how well I'm doing
because what if my body is getting
stronger and what if my achievements are
starting to happen and I'm starting to
breach goals and I'm starting to do
things that I couldn't do just a few you
know where I'm at now and then I jump on
the scale and it says I only lost two
pounds so all those things that I have
accomplished are no longer good enough
because what was on the scale isn't
isn't sane you don't have seen so that's
why I said I will weigh in when I feel
the time is right but I will not be just
doing weigh-ins every week that's not
gonna happen I don't want to do it like
I said I will do one official way in
which we will all know I will put it in
my book but other than that then there's
no more weigh-ins we'll know where I'm
starting at and that's it and then when
I feel like I want to check and see
where I'm at or whatever however that
happens you know then that's when I get
on the scale and I check but I'm not
gonna say oh I'm gonna weigh in once a
month I'm in a weigh-in
you know
every day I'm in a way in every three
months no I don't want to I'm not going
to set myself for anything I'm just
gonna let it go the way that I feel it
needs to go and I know all of you guys
understand that and I I know that I have
enough support between you know you guys
and what all you guys have stood behind
me already that it will be an easy thing
for me to bounce back up and get back on
because you know I was feeling amazing I
was feeling absolutely amazing so I want
to get back to that and I know that
there's been many people that have
reached out to me and said you know I
miss you Amy I miss hearing the things
that you have been accomplishing and I
want to get back on board because I have
fallen off the bandwagon can we you know
can we do this together and you're
absolutely 100% right let's do this
together let's have fun with it and like
I said drop in the message of message
drop in the comments below some of your
guys's amazing mills that you guys make
remember no pork other than that let's
get it going you know I have a few more
days to the end of my holiday and then
life gets real summers hitting and you
know we have a lot of plans for the
family this year and I don't want to be
held back or hold them back because I'm
unable to do the things that I want and
have wished and have dreamed to do and
where as really close to being able to
do those things and I'm still there I I
know I haven't gained every pound back
God but I will say I know I have put
weight on because I can feel it in my
body anyways and my body gains quick
like I'm not joking I could easily put
on 20 pounds in a week I'm not even
kidding you guys my body kits I can I
collect weight that fast I'm working
really hard on my cups I've got so much
going on I have my two Tumblr role
Turner's going Buddha
so I've got that going I have been very
busy with that families doing amazing
the kids are doing awesome and like I
said summers hit and Jeremiah's gonna be
out of school in the next week which is
going to be exciting we have lots of
plans we want to go to the beach quite a
bit this summer and you know do park
visits and things like that so anyways
there's a lot a lot a lot a lot in store
and I'm just excited to share with you
guys all of it but anyways I just wanted
to get this video up and check in with
you guys and say happy Friday I hope you
guys had a blessed day and that you guys
have a wonderful wonderful wonderful
weekend with all of your family and
loved ones and me know and by the way
yes I am planning to do a makeup
tutorial I guess you would call it I
don't know what to call it I as you all
know I am NOT a makeup where I I just
don't I worn it in minimal times before
but I'm not one of those that have to
get up put my face on did they do to
make my life go no it just doesn't work
that way with me I just don't take the
time but I think after this whole
eyebrow issue I think that you and I and
everybody in between
we all deserve me to see if I can put on
some true makeup so I am planning to
take a little bit of my money and go buy
some makeup because I don't own any
makeup as you all know yeah
you know the whole eye liner eyelash I
liner eyebrow but I'm planning to get
some stuff and have fun with it and I
think I'm gonna do it on alive so that
will make it even funner and yeah so I
am so so so excited for that and thank
you so much for all my new subscribers
that have joined in the last few days
welcome welcome welcome I truly
appreciate you guys hitting that
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my channel I appreciate it so much
and I hope that my channel is everything
you guys are looking for and more I am
trying to get back to messages just know
I am trying my hardest it just gets hard
because once I get
girl down to sleep it's like I'm just
like I don't go and right behind her but
I'm trying to catch up on comments and I
will I promise I but no I see and read
every comment that comes through my
stuff so no matter what I'm seeing every
comment and I try to heart them as I
read them so you guys know that I've
seen them and I will go back and I will
respawn back to you but anyways if you
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so anyways take care of you guys have a
wonderful weekend be safe and I will see
you guys soon
bye bye
